10 ways on how to remain poor and unsuccessful.

Posted on Posted in Personal Finance Advice

Shout out to all those that wants to remain poor . Shout out to all those that have written their goals but have not taken any step towards achieving them. Shout out to all the procrastinators. Shout out to all waiting for that perfect time. So you want to remain poor? Then read on. 

  •  Hate on the rich and successful: Yes hate on the rich, hate on everyone that drives a good car, has their house, has a thriving business. Yes hate on them, after all they all made their money through money rituals and 419. Oh the successful women entrepreneurs are all runs girls, so hate on them too. That you colleague/friend that recently got promoted on her job, she is sleeping with her boss, so hate on her too.
  • Keep complaining and blaming others: Yes your parents didn’t leave an inheritance for you. The government is responsible for the current recession in Nigeria. Your employer is greedy and keeps all the money to him/her self. Your boss hates you and hasn’t given you a good appraisal. You don’t have the capital to start the multi-million business you want.
  • Spend all you have and never save : Yes today is what matters, tomorrow will take care of itself. You can’t come and die, so enjoy after-all we only live once.
  • Live above your income and keep borrowing: You must represent well. You must use an iphone 7 even though it costs 3 times your monthly salary. You must go for summer holiday every year, just borrow to buy ticket and remember you must buy direct flight, fly only british airways. You must not be caught standing by the bus stop so if you don’t have a car you must use uber everywhere you go.  Don’t ever fix fibre hair o, it must be 100% premium human hair by Funmi. You will buy and pay over 6 months. Your instagram followers must keep growing, so you must continue to represent and show off.
  • Keep applying your faith but without works: Oh that you will bless me indeed and enlarge my cost. Father I declare that money comes to me. Keep speaking the word but continue to sleep all day and all night. Keep browsing and visiting all the social media sites. Don’t bother sitting down to draft a plan for that business. Don’t bother breaking your head to think of creative ideas. Don’t bother to improve on your job.
  • Depend on HYIP (High yield investment program) : Keep waiting for MMM to resurrect, oh there is get help world wide, givers forum and the rest. Keep investing in them. There is baba ijebu and all them betting companies. One day, God will pick up your call.
  • Never engage in unrefined business: Leave the pap, tomato, beans, palm oil selling to the uneducated.  How can a whole you engage in home production of liquid soap? With all your education why would you want to engage in all these dirty businesses. After-all, they are below your level.
  • Never set financial goals, budgets: Once you receive any money, just start spending. Don’t bother to know where it goes to. Just keep spending. God will take care of your tomorrow.
  • Say YES to everybody and everything: You can’t fall the hands of your peeps, so you must go for that outing, you must buy that asoebi, you must buy everything that you see online or that anyone brings to you.
  • Never buy knowledge: How can you even think of registering for that course or buying that book when you can use it to buy an LV bag? Who book epp?

Did I miss out any? Feel free to add yours. 

 

2 thoughts on “10 ways on how to remain poor and unsuccessful.

  1. Hi Amaka,

    I enjoyed reading this, the satirical style of writing is my cup of tea, I started laughing immediately I saw the title… Lol

    Ah, learning how to politely say no to asoebi is the beginning of financial wisdom. “Father I declare that money comes to me.” cracked me up so much. 🙂

    Keep buying on credit, after all you will pay back when they pay you next month. That way you would have spent your salary in advance and would have nothing to save. Who saving epp?!

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